A bit of snow

We had a little bit of snow last night.  It fell around 4AM and dusted us with just about an inch.  My daffodils bowed their little heads, but when the sun came out and melted the ice on them, they perked right back up.  Hardy little flowers they are.

The two shots of the birds on the suet block were made in near-dark as they tried to keep warm and feed at the same time.

Bill

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More funny stuff

I seem to be getting most of my blog items from my sister.  Maybe she should just take over….

These are from a program called Hollywood Squares.  It used to be completely unscripted, but now they have to go by a script.  You can see why this is.  Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q.  Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde:  Loneliness!         (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep.  Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?

A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say ‘I Love You’?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?

A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?

A.. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries Are you going to get any during the first year?

A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the   Camp   Fire  Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

Bill

Thing we should know but probably don’t

Most of the items are aimed for a US audience, but they are interesting anyway.  Courtesy (again) of my sister.

1.  Money isn’t made out of paper, it’s made out of cotton.

2.  The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

3.  The dot over the letter i is called a ‘tittle’.

4.  A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5.  Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6.  40% of MacDonald ‘s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7.  315 entries in Webster’s 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8.  The ‘spot’ on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes.  He was albino.

9.  On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.

10.  Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11.  Chocolate affects a dog’s heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small-sized dog.

12.  Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

13.  Most lipstick contains fish scales.

14.  Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.

15.  Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

16.  Upper and lower-case letters are named ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the ‘upper case’ letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, ‘lower case’ letters.

17.  Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time, hence, multi-tasking was invented.

18.  Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

19.  There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20.  The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!

21.  There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, or silver!

22.  Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors.  Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa’s lips.

23.  A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

24.  The mask used by Michael Myers in the original ‘Halloween’ was a Captain Kirk’s mask painted white.

25.  If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19.  You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

26.  By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can’t sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)

27.  The phrase ‘rule of thumb’ is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

28.  The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles.  At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

29.  Celery has negative calories!  It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.  It’s the same with apples.

30.  Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

31.  The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

32.  “Guinness Book of Records” holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public Libraries.

33.  Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.

34.  George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart.  ” Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she’s behind bars.  O.J.  Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her off to jail.”

Enjoy.

Bill