Mail that never got delivered…

Here’s some funnies for you:

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving until 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns

= = = =

Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood  pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic

= = =

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

= = =

Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.

Sincerely,

Jack

PS: you let go

= = =

Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

= = =

Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it” …….just  saying…

Sincerely,

Google

= = =

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF  happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

= = =

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can’t touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle

= = =

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding, they’re all dead!

Sincerely,

BP

= = =

Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,

God

= = =

Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,

Unimpressed

= = =

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,

Stevie Wonder

= = =

Dear Nickleback,

That’s enough.

Sincerely,

The World

= = =

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,

Black people

= = =

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

= = =

Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco….

Sincerely,

United States

= = =

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.

Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere

= = =

Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,

Superman

= = =

Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

= = =

Dear Global Warming,

You’re the best imaginary friend ever!

Sincerely,

Al Gore

= = =

Dear Ugly People,

You’re welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol

= = =

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because  some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans

= = =

Dear White People,

Don’t you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

= = =

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You  piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

= = =

Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up…

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

= = =

Dear Man,

It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant

= = =

Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.

Sincerely,

Dr. Pepper

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