Once again my sister comes through:
Osama Bin Laden has died. George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. George slapped Bin laden across the face and yelled “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped concieve!”
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but failed!”
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”
Thomas Jefferson was next and beat Bin Ladin with a long cane and snarled “It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.
As Bin Ladin lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Ladin wept and said, “This is not what you promised me.”
The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”
= = =
Rednecks Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different.
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.”
Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”
Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earlene with me.”