Odds and Ends

I tried just the other day to watch the ‘new’ picture “The Mechanic”.   I only lasted about an hour and then flipped to another channel.  It was horrible.  Charlie Bronson does a face-palm.  The hitman had the same last name and he used a hot car – that’s about it.  This got me to thinking about all the other remakes I’ve seen that turned out worse than the original.  True, there were a few remakes that were okay.  A trio of my favorites are: The Parent Trap, Sabrina, and The Reluctant Debutante (What a Girl Wants).

Some of the rest are drek.  They Are:

3:10 to Yuma, The Bad News Bears, The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Rear Window, The Firm, Flight of the Phoenix, The Absent Minded Professor = Flubber, The Incredible Journey = Homeward Bound, The Italian Job,The Longest Yard, Mostly Martha = No Reservations, The Nutty Professor, Ocean’s Eleven, On The Beach, Dial M for Murder = A Perfect Murder, Picnic, Planet of the Apes, Godzilla, Red Dawn, Rollerball, The Paleface (’48) = The Shakiest Gun in the West (’68), State Fair, Bye Bye Birdie, The Taking of Pelham 123, The Thing from Another World = The Thing, The Time Machine, Total Recall, Vanishing Point, The More the Merrier = Walk Don’t Run, Where the Boys Are = Where the Boys Are ’84, Yours Mine and Ours

Special Mention as being good remakes also: Les Visiteurs = Just Visiting, Day of the Jackal = The Jackal, Seven Samurai = The Magnificent Seven, The Man Who Knew Too Much (’34) = The Man Who Knew Too Much (’56), Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House = The Money Pit, My Favorite Wife = Move Over Darling, High Noon = Outland, The Front Page = Switching Channels, To Be or Not to Be, The Shop Around the Corner = You’ve Got Mail

Come on, Hollywood.  Can’t you come up with some original films besides just adding computer effects and crud to what was a basically good story?  My all-time disliked remake is: Arthur.  Liza Minelli and Dudley Moore absolutely made that movie.  Sir John Gielgud as the butler was perfect.  The remake starred Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, and Jennifer Garner.  Making Hobson (Sir John’s part) a female was just plain mean spirited.  I only watched the first half hour of this loser.

Anyway, my rant is over – for now.  I’m sure that some pitchman in Tinseltown is just slavering to do a remake “because it’s easier than writing new stuff.  All we have to do is cut off the title page and change the name.  Nobody will be the wiser; especially those losers out there who’ll pay to see it”.

 

 

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